I'm wrestling with things, guys.
I'm wrestling with finding my voice in this community.
I'm wrestling with jealousy at what others have that I don't.
I'm wrestling with where my place is. In life. In family. In friendships.
I'm wrestling with my worth.
I find that a lot of the time, I determine my worth based off of how I am treated by others, how much work I can get done, how many friends I have, etc., I work in an environment where if you aren't spoken to, you are an outcast. I feel like an outcast a lot of the time. But, I know, I know that this feeling and these thoughts do not determine my worth. I know it. And yet, I forget. Often.
I know it comes down to my worth in God. I am His daughter, first and foremost and above all. I don't need to rely on any other relationship or any other "accomplishments" to know who I truly am and am meant to be. I don't.
My worth is not determined by:
- the lack of checkmarks on my to-do list (I can't even find the darn thing)
- how many dishes are piled in my sink
- when I last took a shower (doh!)
- if I am the life of the party.
None of that matters.
[Tweet "We are fearfully and wonderfully and beautifully made. And that is what matters."]
My relationship with and my reality of God is what matters. For you, and me, we are fearfully and wonderfully and beautifully made. And that is what matters.
This is something to remember, for every moment that you feel unworthy based on your circumstances. None of that matters. You are always and relentlessly worthy. Remember it, sister. I'm gonna try right along with you.
Although I struggle with finding the time, I am determined to discover more about myself through the eyes of the Father.