How I Am Made

Sometimes I wish I was made a little bit differently.

Sometimes I wish I was skinnier.

Sometimes I wish I was naturally beautiful.

Sometimes I wish I could walk better in high heels.

Sometimes I wish I looked good in everything I ever tried on.

Oftentimes I wish I was a better wife.

Most of the time I wish I was a better mother.

I wish I loved arts and crafts.

I wish that I loved to wear aprons and cook in my kitchen with a glass of wine and some K-Love.

I wish that I enjoyed what washing dishes did to my hands, making them manicurely-clean and beautiful.

I wish that I felt at peace vaccuuming and dusting and cleaning toilet seats.

I wish I could do a double pirouette without falling off balance.

I wish I could teach my daughters how to dance.

I wish I loved folding laundry.

I wish I loved putting clean, folded laundry into clean and organized drawers.

I wish I was good at organizing drawers.

I wish I loved food.

I wish I enjoyed cooking good food for my family.

I wish I didn't love oatmeal and sugary cereal so much so that I loved food more.

I wish I loved the Word and craved reading it every single morning with a cup of coffee.

I wish that I could take time to go to a Holy Hour every week and be able to tell my daughters that it's their turn to pray to Jesus.

I wish that I could sweep floors, mop floors, clean toys, juggle two babe's sets of arms while creating art masterpieces at the same time.

I just wish I was better.

I wish I was better for my husband.

I wish I was better for my girls.

I wish I was better for my friends.

I just wish I was made differently sometimes.

That He had made me to love baking rather than sports. That He made me love cooking instead of reading. That He made me love art more than cloth diapers. That He made me love mopping more than politics. Or that I loved them all the same.

But.

I am still made in His image. I was still created by a big God. His image is perfect, and there are parts of me that are just right. And I am still beautiful. And I am still His daughter above all else.

I am His.

And that is good.