I never wanted to be a mother.
Or a wife.
Or a helpmate.
Or a servant.
I wanted to have freedom and live a life carefree of any sort of resemblance of responsibility.
I wanted to not be bogged down by a schedule, but to leave and be on a whim.
Then I met my husband. And he was a drummer in a band - a Christian band. I mean, you put a musician + Jesus together, and I've melted.
And for the first time in my life, I wanted to know what it meant to be a wife. The mommy thing? I still hadn't thought of that - but a wife?! Heck yes, I wanted to be his, and I wanted to be his wife STAT.
With becoming a wife, I realized that a wonderful and beautiful gift you receive is a beautiful child made manifest from your love.
Alas, a mother I became.
Boy, was I in love.
I never expected it, any of it. But I was over the moon.
I didn't expect the utter chaos that soon enveloped my life.
I didn't expect the complete and total exhaustion.
I didn't expect the sleepless nights, or the frightening anxieties.
I didn't expect the doctors' visits, or the ER visits, or the sick babies.
I got more than I could have ever bargained for.
I got love. Intense love emanating from every part of my being, and a reciprocal love that only a mother and child can possibly share.
I got hugs. The bear-est hug that makes the name for all bear hugs.
I got kisses. The sweetest kisses you'll ever get to feel.
I got knotty hair and messy faces and the most fun bubble baths that make it all better. Baths give the biggest giggles.
I got tears and cuddles all wrapped up in one. Cuddling is the cure-all for tears. Try it.
I got the most vulnerable of gifts, and it was given to me to cradle and foster and care for.
I got all of this and so, so, so much more.
I get to mother incredible human beings, mother them into respectful and loving and generous and kind people who hopefully give as much to the world as they gave to me - which was, in fact, the greatest gift of joy that can ever be had.
But I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Am I shocked by motherhood? Absolutely. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. <--- Tweet this.
In between tweeting, reading books to my daughters, and [not] burning mac n cheese, I am the Founder + Creative Director of Blessed is She women's ministry + community.