Love in Motherhood:: Mary

The first official "Love in Motherhood" link-up is here, and we are so excited! We can't wait to read all of the posts that are linked up today!

Today we begin a monthlong series on Love in Motherhood. We (and a few of our blogger friends) will write a post about the story of enduring struggles of motherhood (guilt, temper, busy-ness, comparing to others, etc.), and how someone weaved LOVE into our story. A friend, a spouse, a stranger, our children, God, anything/one.

Each of the hostesses will be sharing and we want you to play along!

THE HOSTESSES:

  1. Anna Kate of Home Away from Home
  2. Jen of Defining My Happy
  3. Kristen of When At Home
  4. Jenna & Mary of A Mama Collective

HOW IT WORKS: First, head to each of the hostess’ sites beginning Tuesday, February 11th to check out their posts!

Then, write your own post about Love in Motherhood. We want you to tell how love rewrote your story!

You will then link up on any ONE of the hostess’ sites. Our links will be interlinked which means that your post will be displayed on all of our sites!

love in motherhood-2We will have a new post go live every single Tuesday for four weeks (ending 3/11/14) to continue to spread the love in motherhood story. You are welcome to link up with us every. single. time. Or just once. You choose!

Please share on instagram with the hashtag #loveinmotherhood so we can support each other. We can't wait to see what you all have to say about the journey of love in motherhood for you.

 

 

 

love in motherhood mothers

 

What do you do when your dream becomes a reality?  When you have hoped and dreamed for a moment to come and then it's there, staring you in the face.  What if it doesn't live up to the moment you envisioned, or maybe it does, how do you let go of dreaming and live?

I was one of those girls.  You know, the ones that pretended to be "mom" since the moment they could say "mom."  That nurturing, affectionate self so readily flowed out of me.  No one was all that surprised when I got married at 21 and found myself pregnant with our first child at 22.  It was a path written in the sand for some time.

And as I walked that path written in the sand, I wasn't greeted by a sudden wave of overwhelming joy and peace and fulfillment, but instead, fear.  Fear of a dream coming to fruition and uncertainty of my ability to live out that perfect dream.  Sitting there, staring at that pregnancy test that said "positive," a wave of that fear enveloped me.  Crushed me.  Stole my dream right from my open hands.  "How am I going to be a mother right now?  Look at my life.  I haven't finished school.  My husband is home only 3 days a week. We don't have enough money. I'm not healthy enough to have a baby. Will I be a good enough mother?  will I lose this baby?....."

The thoughts bombarded me, took me captive and made themselves a nice cozy spot in my head.  I didn't have crazy morning sickness, or overwhelming fatigue, but I had intense and dream snatching fear.  Pregnancy was entirely different than I had dreamed, hoped and envisioned it to be.  Anger and frustration set in and they fueled the fear, stealing the joy of my new journey of motherhood.

I would love to say when I first saw my sweet baby girl that fear left me.  But first time mothers are free from anything but fear.  I was awfully afraid that I was doing everything wrong; holding the baby the wrong way, using the incorrect nursing position, even using the wrong swaddle.  I was constantly judging and evaluating myself, and I never quite measured up to my dream.  Even more than how well I would perform as a mother, I dreamed and idealized this feeling of ease and grace that I would experience in motherhood.  But forcing ease and grace is never pretty, and so slowly my dream died.

And then Love came, in the form of mothers like you.  Mothers who were in the trenches with me.  Mothers who knew that fear, knew the dream and knew there was another choice, a choice for peace.  It's such a blessing when you can call/text/email etc. a fellow mom who you trust and simply speak your fears out loud.  As I spoke my fears out loud, they lost some of their power.  Yes, I probably was using the wrong nursing position, but I could correct it and even if I didn't, I was still a good enough and worthy mother. Even when that fear keeps in. Even when motherhood seems less than I have dreamed it up to be. this is still what I was made for!

Living that labor of love, day in and day out with mothers who speak truth and kindness into my life has become my serenity.  My lifeline.  My new dream.  Motherhood wasn't what I thought it would be, but Love, the life-giving love of fellow mothers, rewrote my story.

linked with Krystal.