"Make time for yourself." ...That's something I tell almost all first time moms (and all mamas, for that matter), and it's a phrase I'm sure you've heard from a whole host of people. While the phrase is often overused, perhaps it’s a reminder we really do need. We moms are professional givers, some of us to the point of fault. It's time to change that. Regardless of what category you fall into, I think it’s about time we all took our own advice.
We moms are professional givers, some of us to the point of fault. It's time to change that. <--- Tweet this.
Myself included. I should mention I am a mental health therapist. I make a living telling people to make time for themselves and of the importance of “filling up our tanks.” Unfortunately, many things I tell my patients are not things I am so great at myself, and this is definitely one of them!
Perhaps that's why I felt compelled to post about this - it's almost as an accountability to myself, a "Hey, self: You should do this too!"
Well, how do we do this then, how do we take time to take care for ourselves? For most of us moms, we have a million (and one) things on the to-do list, and we are lucky if we get that pedicure we know we desperately need, or that trip out with the girls, or even that priceless nap. But does that change the necessity of checking those things off the list?
Where did we learn that doing all the other things on our list were more important than our own needs? Maybe it's one of those silent "mom rules" that we all swear we don’t care about, but hastily try to live up to. Whatever it is that makes you believe that, maybe it’s time that belief was challenged.
I’m not suggesting you neglect your motherly and household duties every day. But some days, yes! Let’s look at the reality of the situation: Will our husbands love us any less if they come home to a messy house every now and then? No! (At least not the great ones we have!)
Will our children love us any less for taking a night off, or even spending a day relaxing poolside with a drink? NO! But they will notice when we are tired, worn-out and easily lose our tempers because we have NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE. I have gotten to that point, many times, and each time it causes the same results. "I guess I should have done something about this, about me, before it got to this point," I say to myself again.
But nonetheless, I push the limits every time.
So let’s commit to each other, as a collective of mamas in the same boat, to set good examples of self-care to our children. Let’s set some real, attainable goals of how we can do this in the coming week(s).
Let us know how you plan to live out better self-care in your life and invite other moms in on it with you.. What better way to encourage each other to than to start with example?
My goal: Have a date night with my husband, and take a nap 1 day this week.