I wish that there was a space here for me to be completely honest with you. A space where I could tell you all the little idiosyncrasies that happen with my family, immediate and extended, or friends. A space to hash out and get your opinions on this or that. But I don't have that. This space is my space to be vulnerable, but that vulnerability ends with me. I can't tell other people's stories. I can't.
And worse, I can't rewrite other people's stories. Oh, how I wish I could.
I wish, when my daughters get dismissed by a friend or by each other, that I could rewrite that and take away the rejection.
I wish, when I hear about injustices in the world, whether on our soil or beyond, that I could rewrite that and take away the pain.
I wish, when I hear of hurt within my own family, that I could rewrite that and take away the bitterness.
I wish, so badly, that I could rewrite the sadness, paint over it with a glossy barrier to shield away the present and future friction. I wish with all my heart that my father, daughter, friend, enemy, brother, husband did not have to have the weight of grief on their chest so weighted down that it's hard to breathe. I wish with everything inside of me that I could take it all away.
Because I know what hurt feels like. I know what rejection feels like. I know what emptiness feels like. Not to the magnitude of so many others, but in my own ways, I know what the pain feels like.
And in every fiber, I wish I could remove it and step on it and tell it to never return.
But I can't.
Because there is sin. And there is evil. And there are bad decisions being made every single day. And we are affected by it, every one of us. Whether it be down the street or in our own homes, we are affected by the evil in this world. We are affected by the giving into sin. We are affected by the wrongdoings of others. There is an effect to the cause. This cause and effect -- it changes people.
So, what can I do? What can I possibly do about the evil that persists and works its slimy way into our hearts?
I can acknowledge that I am affected by the evil, by the wrongdoings, but from there, I can make it stop.
I don't have to let that evil and the power take over me. I can make it stop. It can stop with me. And I can change the cause. And that means I can change the effect. I can't rewrite those past parts of the story, but I can change the future.
I don't need to carry about the bitterness or the hurt or the pain or the rejection, I can set it at the foot of the Lamb and ask for the grace -- GRACE -- to keep trucking and keep moving and keep loving despite the evil. I can continue to love even when I think that I can't. Even when I don't want to. I can receive the grace from Him who waits for me, and I can stop the spread of evil and change it to love.
I can be the cause of love. And the effect? The effect is good, my friends. The effect is good, oh my heart. The effect is no longer strong-arming me into pain and rejection and sadness and death --- the effect is love. The effect is life.
What evil can you stop today? What pain are you sifting through that you can lay at His feet? What heartache is your family member suffering from that you can pray for? What addiction is holding onto you that you can't release? What sadness do you feel about injustices that are happening that you can offer to the Lord?
How can you change the effect? How can you stop the evil in its tracks and make the cause a thing of beauty? How can you no longer carry around the evil, but carry around love?
What can I do today? This very minute? What can you do today? This very minute? <------ Release the evil and let love seep in.
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In between tweeting, reading books to my daughters, and [not] burning mac n cheese, I am the Founder + Creative Director of Blessed is She women's ministry + community.