You feel special.

You feel special.

He touches your arm,
and it electrocutes you.
and you look at him for a little
too long
catch his eyes that are doing the same.

You hug goodbye and
his hand grazes the lower of your back

And your ring shines in the sun
but the dark has already overwhelmed you.

You say yes to coffee
or a drink
or lunch
whatever it is this time.

You drive and glance at that shiny ring
and you tell yourself 
lunch
drink
coffee
means nothing.

But it means everything.

The dark means everything.

Under the table, his knee touches yours.

You talk about your kids
your job
your favorite restaurants
that your husband takes you to,
without mentioning his name.

Your bill is paid for:
And you are special.

Never mind all the times your husband did the very same thing,
and even more so,
with the commitment
of 
his
life.

This.
This is dangerous.
This is dark.
This is you feeling special.
This is you giving in to the the touches and the glances
This is you saying "Yes,"
to the end.

And you keep walking
into the dark.

You take off your shiny ring,
and you take off your clothes,
and you turn off your light.

You feel special.

And you enter the dark and say,
"Yes"
to the end.

In between tweeting, reading books to my daughters, and [not] burning mac n cheese, I am the Founder + Creative Director of Blessed is She women's ministry + community.